August 16th, 1999 - Win 19-7
What an awesome display of the power of poultry.
The poor, poor, helpless opposition. Didn't have a chance. As the chickens rolled into North York, they had one thing on their minds. Kill. Or be killed. It seemed that nothing could free the chickens from their dstiny of bringing their record from a lowly 1-6 up to a respectable 7-7. With poise and confidence the points came easily and fequently. While the hens supplied more of their superior offense and suffocating D, the cocks were up to their usual potency on the coop as well.
Colonal Sanders seemed to be in the zone after what seemed to be a long, hard day at the office. Remind me to call her up next Monday afternoon and tell her that all her goldifsh are dead - just to get her back in that killer mood. Scoreboard was a huge factor yet again, driving up and keeping amazing track of the score with the greatest of ease - while looking good doing it! Rubber Chicken also lived well up to her name. This time around, instead of making frequent landings on her ass, she sacrificed her chest in the name of the team. Next time you sit down to a nice juicy breast of chicken, please take a moment to honour Tracy's. Graham Central Station wowed the crowd with his new do, but unbeknownst to the opponents, the stunt was merely designed to distract the female opponents with his awesome fro. And as one of the unsuspecting victims commented on his funky appearance, he thought to himself "Jean Claude Van DAMN, I'm fine!" Wheels showed up in her well-broken-in shaggin' wagon (by well-broken-in i mean in distance, naturally). It was a good thing for us that the car made it that far, 'cause she really tore up the field scoring many of the points and creating lots of the sideline cheers that should've been made by Steve. Finger Lickin' Good was invaluable out on the field, struttin her stuff like a pigeon but keeping to the funky ways of the fowl. That jackass of a partner of hers didn't show and has been subsequently kicked off the team. Plucked Chicken was out there. Of course he'll never quite be as funky as the rest of us, but we'll let that slide as long as he keeps up beauty performances like last night's. His accuracy and completion percentage really shows how well he handles his disc. Last and almost least is Jerk Chicken. His many years worth of ultimate experince coupled with his awesome combination of intellect and athleticism gives the birds what we sorely need each week: lawn chairs. Unfortunately he forgot them last night so that's all i have to say about that.
So now the powerful poultry has only one game left in the regular season. We will take no prisoners in our quest to end on a winning note (mostly because i want to cash in on the possibility of sponsorship from Nike, Gatorade and Swiss Chalet). So congratulations on a job well done, team, but let's not get too excited until the TSSC C League Ultimate Trophy is OURS!! B R A W W K !!!!