Name: Garth Chalmers
Wing Span: 5'10"
Hometown: TORONTO
Favourite Bird: To eat? Chicken ... in general, Cormorant
Hobbies: Cock fights
How do you like your chicken cooked: Grilled
Where were you when JFK was shot? On the grassy knoll
Y2K Plans: Travel north to a desolate forest area and hide out until the Apocalypse ends
In 60 years: Dead
Measurements: 36-28-36 (a lot of volume)
Most memorable on-field ultimate moment: Fuck off... oh actually apparently I forgot that moment. Not saying fuck off
3 people for the FC: Salma Hayek; Someone tall; Someon fast
Other notable favourable qualities ....
hmmm. None

Jerk has since mellowed out since his suspension - er - vacation out West. Marrrrrvelous ...