Name: Brent Wheeler
Wing Span: 5'10", finger-nails trimmed
Hometown: Cowtown
Favourite Bird: Audrey Hepburn
Hobbies: Fencing
How do you like your chicken cooked: With 11 herbs and spices
Where were you when JFK was shot? I plead the 5th dimension your honor
Y2K Plans: I dunno. 12 months is a long time
In 60 years: Chasing tornados in the American Midwest
Measurements: Aaahh, Oooohh, and Mmmm
Most memorable on-field ultimate moment: When Garth brought lawn chairs
3 people for the FC: Matty, Mike Duffy, Don Rickles
Other notable favourable qualities ....

Brent has got the cooties.